You Don’t Know a Thing About Me
So it’s finally reading break and I literally have no homework to do.
The past two years, I’ve been so loaded down at these breaks with work that I literally had no time for anything else. And if I did, I knew I was missing valuable time to work.
So this reading break has been the laziest one of my life.
But it’s given me a lot of time to think, which seems to be plentiful lately, unfortunately.
Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m over analyzing this, but how do I know when someone really cares about me?
I hate this nonsense of personality factors in this situation. My friend said that everyone has different ways of showing it, but my problem is that sometimes it’s hard to decipher someone’s real intentions.
Maybe I’ve been out of the dating game for too long - is a year a long time? Feels like it happened yesterday. And since then, I’ve been trying my best to be optimistic about people and their intentions. There’s someone I really, finally do like to the truest extent, but sometimes I get so confused about him that I can’t even begin to explain how I feel.
I’ve decided that the best way to try and understand if someone likes you is to see how much they actually know about you. If someone really does care - then they’ll remember even the little things, right? I’m still working on this theory - given other factors, like how much time they devote to you.
I guess I’ve just been so stuck in this ridiculous rut, and I’ve tried for so hard, and for so long, not to let people get to know me too well that it’s become a vicious circle. My problem is that when I really like someone, I literally spill my whole life out to them without thinking, and then it kills me when they don’t remember things I’ve told them.
I’ve sort of begun to relate it to my first year of university when I took the International Development course. That was probably the hardest course to wrap my head around the subject matter that I couldn’t even remember half of what they taught us when it came time to write the exam. I’m beginning to realize that the people I spill my guts to must feel like I did during that course.
The point’s been proven many a time - I’m not the easiest person to get to know or like. I have a lot of mental baggage, and I’m only 21, but I feel like I’ve been through more in the last year than an average person would have. So perhaps my solution is stop sharing so much about my life until someone asks. And to stop investing myself in the guys that I like too much, both emotionally and physically.
People keep telling me that I shouldn’t even have time to be linked with another man in some sort of relationship. But doesn’t it feel like there’s something missing?
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